As wonderful as being a breastfeeding Mom is, it’s not all bonding and baby smiles. Some days I find it really hard to have a child attached to me 24/7! In an effort to deflect my frustrations, I bring you humor. If you’re a breastfeeding Mom too, perhaps you can relate?
Here are 5 signs you’re a breastfeeding Mom.
- You change your clothes multiple times a day.
Oh no, not because of baby puke (though that’s a factor too.) No, you’re changing multiple times a day because your body can’t seem to figure out whether it’s hot or cold. Over the course of approximately 8 hours, you’ll go from a heavy sweater, to a tank top, to a light sweater, to a t-shirt. You’re cracking open windows like a woman going through menopause, only to be turning the heat up a few hours later. Don’t even get me started on night sweats…
- You cannot leave the house without breast pads.
There’s not much worse than discovering you’ve left your house without boob leakage protection. Oh wait, yes there is! Discovering you forgot to put them on on your way to church! I’ve actually had to stuff toilet paper and burp blankets down my bra to prevent myself from walking around with stains on my shirt. How’s that for feeling attractive!
- You go everywhere with your baby.
Hopefully your friends and co-workers get that wherever they invite you, baby will follow. If they aren’t understanding you’ll end up just staying home having a Netflix marathon of Gilmore Girls. This is life as a breastfeeding Mom! You are now a package deal until the day baby decides to wean!
- You’re a baby laxative.
That’s right, within seconds of your baby guzzling down that sweet milk, all kinds of noises will begin rumbling from their behind. You may even get a full on diaper explosion during that tender moment of bonding, resulting in… ugh, let’s not go there. That liquid gold is just far too potent and powerful to stay inside for very long.
- The stares.
Some people will give you a thumbs up or encouraging smile as you try to feed your child discreetly, (we like these people) and others will gawk at you like you’re some kind of freak show. How dare you pull that thing out in public! Who knew a meal could be so controversial in a world where folks walk past Victoria Secret signs with no more than a glance!